Part of the irony comes from the right-leaning “red state” map of the by-county vote breakdown, and the left-leaning political alignment of the (RED) movement, (PRODUCT)RED, and the Global Fund.

Now that I think about it, I have posted about (PRODUCT)RED before:

So I walk into the Apple store. Now, I am admittedly a PC guy… partly because my brain and motor coordination can handle more than one mouse button. Actually, I even PREFER more than one mouse button and find myself using the so-called “mousewheel” very frequently. I’m walking into the Apple store to pickup a little hard case for my new fancy red 8GB iPod nano. It’s my first iPod and I’m diggin’ it. My choice of red was because I greatly preferred it over black (the other choice), and not because it’s part of the product red movement which is a somewhat leftist dick-dance of an effort to fight AIDS in Africa by donating $10 of your red iPod purchase in the name of Oprah and Bono. This inexplicably satiates the little activist hearts of the young Starbucks demographic and relieves them of the drudgery of actually doing something to help Africans.

This photo-concept is ©Copyright 2007 by myself. The (RED) logo and markings are trademarks of The Persuaders, LLC, and used here for parody/satire purposes.

So I walk into my mall through Best Buy, as I always do… but I don’t buy anything at Best Buy this time. Why not? Because Best Buy lost its testicles. As a proud owner of a pair of testicles… and as my infatuation with Best Buy was directly proportional to its placation of my testosterone driven electronic interests… I shall not shop their during the “holidays”. This is decidedly inconvenient as my friends and relatives always had an automatic gift for me in the coveted Best Buy Gift Card. So if you’re listening (reading)… this year make it a Wal-Mart card, as they seem to be not having as much trouble accepting the December 25th hubbub.

So I walk out of Best Buy and am immediately accosted by young slutty girls holding big empty containers asking me if I “want to support cheerleading”. What? Do I want to support the CONCEPT of cheerleading? Do I want to support more coverage for NFL teams’ cheerleaders? I knew what she was asking… she wanted my money. But for what? Uniforms? Pom-poms? Shouldn’t she buy her own? I mean really… what possible cheerleading costs are there? And why should I pony up Hamiltons to this little tart wearing a slut shirt from Abercrombie & Fitch ($55), a slimline cellphone ($180), and slut skirt from Rue 21 ($48) asking ME for money just so her father standing behind her wearing the Tagheur watch ($330), gay Express Men pants ($45), and holding his new putter ($68) doesn’t have to pony up himself?

So I walk into the Apple store. Now, I am admittedly a PC guy… partly because my brain and motor coordination can handle more than one mouse button. Actually, I even PREFER more than one mouse button and find myself using the so-called “mousewheel” very frequently. I’m walking into the Apple store to pickup a little hard case for my new fancy red 8GB iPod nano. It’s my first iPod and I’m diggin’ it. My choice of red was because I greatly preferred it over black (the other choice), and not because it’s part of the product red movement which is a somewhat leftist dick-dance of an effort to fight AIDS in Africa by donating $10 of your red iPod purchase in the name of Oprah and Bono. This inexplicably satiates the little activist hearts of the young Starbucks demographic and relieves them of the drudgery of actually doing something to help Africans.

Going to the mall is like going to the zoo… and I like watching animals so both are a good fit, but the mall does’t help my cynicism.

It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door. You step into the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.
- Bilbo Baggins