How to De-beautify America the Beautiful

WarAxe — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 21:43:04 +0000

In light of the nation’s 230th birthday I reflected on some of the ways that this great nation is decaying from the inside out… so I decided to list some of them… many of which are already underway and getting worse. (Wallpaper from my favorite wallpaper site, Digital Blasphemy)

Let beggars be choosers. Let those who don’t have a job get to spend other people’s money if there aren’t any “desirable” jobs they feel like doing. Do this even if there are those who have willingly worked those same “undesirable” jobs for years to make ends meet and feed their families. In fact, in a show of utter idiocy, make those workers doing the “undesirable” jobs give spending money to those who feel “too good” to do those same “undesirable” jobs. And keep raising that minimum wage because you have to have the latest IM-capable cellphones, you know.

Value esteem over excellence. Don’t speak any truth that will possibly offend anyone, ever. Never imply that anyone is better at anything than anyone else. Don’t fall prey to the twisted notion that there are absolutes. Standardized tests are evil devices designed to artificially lift up those who are good at learning information and applying that information under pressure… and this is bad because nowhere in life will you ever have to know any information, nor will you ever be under any pressure, so these tests are all unrealistic and divisive. In fact, all tests, grades, scores, and ratings are evil and divisive.

Take money from the few to buy votes from the many. Since most of the wealth in the US is in the hands of just a few at the top… take their money, label this theft as “fair”, and use the money to buy the votes from the much larger number of people at the other end of the economic spectrum. Be sure to hide the fact that they, at the lower end, are still wealthier than most of the rest of the world… and don’t tell them that if they are fat, have cellphones, wear gold chains, and watch multiple TVs in the apartment then they probably are doing well enough. Oh yeah… also fudge the numbers so that nobody realizes money taken from the top hurts job growth and economic development in the middle and the bottom. In fact, burn every economic book you can find… then buy yourself some votes while you dine for $125 a plate and smoke Cubans in your jet.

Offer free health care. Especially offer free health care to those who prefer to spend their money on chips, cellphones, gold chains, and TVs. Make sure that there is no incentive to stay healthy. And in the spirit of “beggars being choosers” let them demand the most expensive pharmaceuticals that they see commercials for while watching soaps on their multiple TVs during what we would call the “working hours” of the day because there are no “desirable jobs” for them. Of course… not everyone would get free health care… I mean, it’d be free on the surface, but you’d have to tax the heck out of everyone to pull it off. And pay no attention to the politicians paying big bucks to go to private hospitals to see private doctors… the Canadians don’t. After all, nobody pays attention to US politicians sending their kids to private schools while trumpeting the value of public schools.

Judge by emotion. If someone was killed, they’re dead. They’re gone. Don’t dwell on ghosts… but show compassion to the poor murdering rapist who now must suffer with that guilt. Not only do they have to suffer the guilt of knowing they stabbed and raped twelve pre-teen girls… but then you want to further torment them by locking them in what amounts to an animal cage… to be mocked and taunted by REAL animals like crooked CEOs. Pay no attention to that middle finger the court camera caught them pointing at the victims’ families… that’s just their guilt and pain cruelly bubbling to the surface. You need to understand the society that drove them, against their will, to that unfortunate end… otherwise you’ll lose fact that they have rights and dirty cops want to take those rights away. Thank goddess for the ACLU that protects the rights of murdering rapists because who knows what this country would be like if we got medieval on them.

Maintain two political parties. Only two. First of all, you’ll only have to make sure that there’s more people who like you than like only one other person. That’s pretty easy… and you can always make up good stuff that you’ll do if you need a boost to your likability. And with just two parties, when one loses, the other wins… and vice versa. This ensures that you don’t have to stand FOR anything as long as you can stand AGAINST what the other guy is for… then if you win you won’t have to DO anything… you just have to NOT DO what the other guy was going to. How joyous for you that you get to WIN and NOT DO anything!

Negative99 » pharmaceuticals

How to De-beautify America the Beautiful