Negative99

My younger brother is the Madman. Just as I am the WarAxe.

The Madman has maintained www.madmanonline.com for a little while now. Granted, it has remained dormant for a long time… but recently the madness returned one last time.

It’s been over a year since I saw fit to bring enlightenment to the masses. I promised myself that I’d never write another one of these again, but I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I may have one last rave left in me.

Looking back, I think fondly of the day that I invented the "blog" and started my first little website, which had a shelf life of one month before my service provider removed me due to complaints. Since that time, I’ve seen my creation grow to great lengths. Seems like everybody’s got a blog these days. The unimportant, unintelligent, and clearly illiterate all see fit to post the stupid details of their worthless lives for all the world to read. I’ve seen them, I’ve read them. It’s sad. It’s a brutal self delusion to post the accounts of one’s personal life believing that anybody cares. Nobody cares.

It was because of this blatant disregard for all that is worth reading that I retired from all web design and commentary for so long. I sat back and read Time magazine declare "YOU" the man of the year, with all the MySpaces, Friendsters, Facebooks, etc. We, as a society, have decided that the meaningless and unimportant is key, and have forsaken all rational thought.

Example: Anna Nicole Smith. Just in case you missed the twenty-four hour news coverage, let me fill you in on something. She’s dead. As of this moment, the cause of death has yet to be determined. I’m willing to put $100 right now on drug use. Doesn’t really matter, to be honest. The world is a better place without her. It’s true. She wasn’t a star. The only reason she was famous is because she married a decrepit old man hoping he’d die and she could get all his money. Now she’s dead. Justice is served, the gene pool is a little deeper, and I tilted back a cold one in celebration. But, when this empty life finally ended, it’s all the news could talk about. I’ve seen hour-long shows talking about her "career." She won’t be missed. Mother freaking Theresa got less coverage. We’ve lost sight of the big picture.

Still not convinced? Well, if there was one thing that could keep our eyes off Anna Nicole’s hottie-to-fatty-to-hottie career, it’s Britney Spears. What happened there?! Let’s review. Somewhere around 1997 or 1998, and to be honest, it’s not really important when. She started as jail bait. That’s what she was. She was 16 years old and dancing around in a catholic schoolgirl outfit. She was a hit with the girlies, but an even bigger hit with men age 18-34. She played that card for a while, then it seems like overnight she went from teen queen to trailer trash. She married a no-talent wigger going by K.Fed. Eh… I can’t even type it without dry-heaving. Well, I was perfectly content ignoring her exploits and focusing on the rest of pop culture. The fact that she’s bred has me quite disturbed on a level deep down in places I don’t like to think about. But lately… I just can’t imagine what her kids are going to be like in school when some guy can present a picture of mommy’s snatch that can be found all over the internet. Oh, but it gets better. I see the front page of the New York Post and there’s Britney… bald-headed. I will repeat that. I see the front page of the New York Post and there’s Britney… bald-headed. Apparently she was in rehab for less than twenty-four hours, went bat-shit crazy, and shaved her head. This is front page news, people. We may very well be on the cusp of electing our first female president or our first black president. Anna Nicole Smith is still dead, and Britney is getting this kind of ink. Sad world. My only hope is that drug use can take her out too. Maybe a plane crash. We haven’t had a good plane crash since Aaliyah.

So, what’s the point I’m getting at? The fact is, that everybody has their own thing. People are making their own "shows" and posting them. Fifteen minutes of fame are being handed out to every shmoe with a webcam. The internet is impure, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It’s on its way to hell in a hand-basket, and quite frankly, the only thing I can do is let the cycle ride itself out. After everyone gets tired of their own voice, perhaps there will be a demand once again for intelligent introspect. Until such a time as that, I’ll leave this ship before it sinks. Don’t worry, there’s still plenty of good left on the internet. Tubedaze.com, for example. Check it out. Somebody’s braving the storm.

So, after over 10 years of raving on the internet, I close this book. Under my belt are literally hundreds of complaints, four servers removing my site, and more than just a little justification. Let’s just take a brief look back.

I was there to point out the shortcomings of Tara Lapinski. You remember her, right? Yeah, me neither. Figure skating… some sport.

Let’s not forget Ashlee Simpson, the less talented half of Joe Simpson’s gravy train. I can’t possibly forget her SNL appearance back in October ’04. Ashlee, seriously, you made my year… and I like your sister’s boobs.

There were South Carolina drivers, crazy comic store girls with mattresses in closets… and let’s not forget the list. Chances are, you were on it.

Well, that was enough of a romp down memory lane. "The Madman" was a fun character to play. Before I go, I leave you one last word of enlightenment: If someone asks if you are a god, you say yes.

Good luck, and get a helmet. We have nowhere to go but down.

~Madman