The Rules (Guys’ Edition)

There is a list of “The Rules” that has circulated in email for a while. But it’s a list of rules from the female perspective. Well, my lovely wife forwarded me a list of rules from the guys’ perspective, and here they are with some editing and refining by myself.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport. We shall never think of it as a sport. And you have enough clothes, anyway.

4. Crying is a dark form of manipulation.

5. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a PROBLEM. See a doctor.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument today. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

9. If you think you’re fat, you probably are… so don’t ask us.

10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

11. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, then just do it yourself.

12. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

13. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Bright Ciesta or Moonlit Desert is.

14. If it itches, it will be scratched. Period.

15. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle of forcing it out of you, because we don’t want to positively reinforce your lying and you’ll most likely bring it up on your own eventually.

16. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

17. When we absolutely have to get somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… really.

18. You have too many shoes.

u comment i follow 4 Comments

  1. Heather
    Posted November 21, 2006 at 9:20 pm | Permalink

    lol! I love #9. and yes, i am very guilty of #18 (but does it count that half of them are running/cleats/spikes sports types of shoes?)

  2. Posted November 22, 2006 at 1:58 pm | Permalink

    it takes a brave man to post that on his blog…

  3. Posted November 23, 2006 at 9:54 pm | Permalink

    How about this one. If I wanted to talk, I would talk.

  4. Your Mother
    Posted January 3, 2007 at 11:33 pm | Permalink

    Loved your list, especially No. 8. I could add a few of my own. How about a parent and child list? Love you.

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