The 12 Most Annoying Types of Facebook Users

I swear that I wrote this CNN article re-posted below. It is true like the Bible. True like math. True like jazz (although not Don Miller’s politics, which are NOT true). I fear that if I were to widdle down my Facebook friends by removing anyone who resembled one of these annoying folks — and remove anyone who doesn’t even use Facebook really — my list would probably severely dwindle. But, my life on Facebook would probably improve immensely… and I would use it less because there’d be less drivel to sift through so I’d probably enjoy REAL life more, too. :-)

Facebook, for better or worse, is like being at a big party with all your friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers.
Facebook can be a great tool, and an occasional annoyance. What kind of Facebooker are you?

Facebook can be a great tool, and an occasional annoyance. What kind of Facebooker are you?

There are lots of fun, interesting people you’re happy to talk to when they stroll up. Then there are the other people, the ones who make you cringe when you see them coming. This article is about those people.

Sure, Facebook can be a great tool for keeping up with folks who are important to you. Take the status update, the 160-character message that users post in response to the question, “What’s on your mind?” An artful, witty or newsy status update is a pleasure — a real-time, tiny window into a friend’s life.

But far more posts read like navel-gazing diary entries, or worse, spam. A recent study categorized 40 percent of Twitter tweets as “pointless babble,” and it wouldn’t be surprising if updates on Facebook, still a fast-growing social network, break down in a similar way. Take a CNN quiz: What kind of Facebooker are you? »

Combine dull status updates with shameless self-promoters, “friend-padders” and that friend of a friend who sends you quizzes every day, and Facebook becomes a daily reminder of why some people can get on your nerves.

Here are 12 of the most annoying types of Facebook users:

The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore. “I’m waking up.” “I had Wheaties for breakfast.” “I’m bored at work.” “I’m stuck in traffic.” You’re kidding! How fascinating! No moment is too mundane for some people to broadcast unsolicited to the world. Just because you have 432 Facebook friends doesn’t mean we all want to know when you’re waiting for the bus.

The Self-Promoter. OK, so we’ve probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about beet farming. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, your poetry reading, your 10k results or your art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist.

The Friend-Padder. The average Facebook user has 120 friends on the site. Schmoozers and social butterflies — you know, the ones who make lifelong pals on the subway — might reasonably have 300 or 400. But 1,000 “friends?” Unless you’re George Clooney or just won the lottery, no one has that many. That’s just showing off.

The Town Crier. “Michael Jackson is dead!!!” You heard it from me first! Me, and the 213,000 other people who all saw it on TMZ. These Matt Drudge wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. No, Jeff Goldblum did not plunge to his death from a New Zealand cliff.

The TMIer. “Brad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for these pesky hemorrhoids.” Boundaries of privacy and decorum don’t seem to exist for these too-much-information updaters, who unabashedly offer up details about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing.

The Bad Grammarian. “So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe”. Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.

The Sympathy-Baiter. “Barbara is feeling sad today.” “Man, am I glad that’s over.” “Jim could really use some good news about now.” Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks — baited with vague tales of woe — in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.

The Lurker. The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you’ll be talking to them and they’ll mention something you posted, so you know they’re on your page, hiding in the shadows. It’s just a little creepy.

The Crank. These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn’t complain about. “Carl isn’t really that impressed with idiots who don’t realize how idiotic they are.” [Actual status update.] Keep spreading the love.

The Paparazzo. Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone’s posted a photo of you from last weekend’s party — a photo you didn’t authorize and haven’t even seen? You’d really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.

The Maddening Obscurist. “If not now then when?” “You’ll see…” “Grist for the mill.” “John is, small world.” “Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not.” [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you’re not being mysterious — just nonsensical.
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The Chronic Inviter. “Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which ‘Star Trek’ character are you? Here are the ‘Top 5 cars I have personally owned.’ Here are ’25 Things About Me.’ Here’s a drink. What drink are you? We’re related! I took the ‘What President Are You?’ quiz and found out I’m Millard Fillmore! What president are you?”

You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop. I don’t care what president I am — can’t we simply be friends? Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.

u comment i follow 30 Comments

  1. Rachel
    Posted August 22, 2009 at 12:02 pm | Permalink

    Dude, just “hide” these people. It’s not hard to do.

  2. Posted August 23, 2009 at 5:27 am | Permalink

    I was so inspired by this that I made up my own list of further facebook annoyances. It’s on my blog.

  3. BOZ
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 6:12 am | Permalink

    Facebook make me crazy sometimes.

  4. Bipolar Symptoms
    Posted September 12, 2009 at 3:11 am | Permalink

    BOZ, I’m already crazy, you know :)

  5. Steve
    Posted March 12, 2010 at 11:39 pm | Permalink

    I know a lot of people who would fit into this list somewhere. Probably the reason I don’t go on facebook as much these days.

  6. Posted August 29, 2010 at 12:37 am | Permalink

    I still find Face book useful though

  7. Posted March 6, 2011 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

    The ones that I can’t stand, insisting on letting their friends know that they “are at the gym” every single day, like anyone cares or ever comments on those updates. So glad their is the “hide” feature.

  8. Posted June 14, 2011 at 5:58 pm | Permalink

    Here is another one for you… People who are only on there to sell you something. Most likely from some type of MLM. Their sole purpose is to get a lot of friends then sell them on some kind of “opportunity”.

  9. Maricela Voight
    Posted October 10, 2011 at 11:57 pm | Permalink

    “There are lots of fun, interesting people you’re happy to talk to when they stroll up. Then there are the other people, the ones who make you cringe when you see them coming. This article is about those people.”

    Among your list of the most annoying facebook users, I don’t like the “The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore” the most. Maybe, these users only mean well, but it can really become irritating at times.

    But on the other hand, I believe these are also the types of people who have nothing to hide. Meaning, they don’t have any skeleton hiding in their closet.

    Maricela Voight

  10. porta badge
    Posted July 26, 2012 at 11:59 am | Permalink

    If I had to hide all those types of people, I guess noone would appear on my wall!

  11. Posted September 10, 2012 at 11:34 am | Permalink

    Yes you’re right, don`t forgout the spam sites, viral script “like to watch”.

  12. Posted November 5, 2012 at 10:09 am | Permalink

    I’m a blogger and i hate the facebook users who annoys me to do something for them for free of cost.

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    Ha! I did not think I learn something new about facebook! Thank you!

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  25. Posted April 27, 2014 at 10:26 am | Permalink

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  29. Posted August 31, 2014 at 6:10 am | Permalink

    Dude, just “hide” these people. It’s not hard to do.

  30. Posted October 17, 2014 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    I believe what you said was actually very reasonable.

    But, think about this, suppose you were to write a awesome headline?
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