The Force Is Still Leashed, and LucasArts Are Morons

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Okay, I’ve had almost two full weeks to get over the fact that LucasArts — bless their damned souls — released their sweet new game titled Star Wars: The Force Unleashed to every conceivable platform… EXCEPT the PC!? [umm... whiskey tango foxtrot?]

It wouldn’t be so bad if this was any ordinary game… but Lucas (the supreme chancellor himself) has knighted this game as the official canonical storyline falling into the 20 years of time between the actual Star Wars movies Episode III and Episode IV. And the biggest insult is that this game was released for about EVERY platform you’d think of… PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Wii, Xbox 360, iPod touch, iPhone, N-Gage, Nintendo DS, and PSP (PlayStation Portable) — everything but the PC, the most powerful and most ubiquitous platform of them all!

Some schmuck from LucasArts (Cameron Suey) was interviewed by VideoGamer.com and he had the audacity during the interview to consider the Commodore 64 and Apple IIE as more notable absences from supporting his game than the PC!? I’d like to set this fool on fire!!

VideoGamer.com: Force Unleashed is coming to every platform going, except…

CS: No Commodore 64, no Apple IIE…

VideoGamer.com: No PC…

CS: No PC as well, yes.

Hee hee… I’m Cameron Suey and our game supports everything except *yuck yuck* not the Commodore 64, and *yuck yuck* not the AppleIIE. [and not the PC] The what? Oh yeah *quietly* not the PC. Wait. STOP! What are you doing!? Why are you dousing me with jet fuel?! PUT THAT ZIPPO DOWN!!! NNNOOOONONononono AAaaahhhhgggghh AAAaaaiiiaaaaagghhhh… *crackling flames*

Oh yeah… and not the PC. That’s like saying — I have a new novel that’s been translated into EVERY language you can think of… except *yuck yuck* not Klingon, and *yuck yuck* not dolphin… [and not English] Oh yeah… and not English.

The best excuse the fools at LucasArts could come up with as that PCs are too varied in their abilities. Umm… yeah, so? You slap a minimum requirement on the side (as every PC game maker has done for decades!) and press on. Yeah, as if the N-Gage and PS3 AREN’T varied!? Their whole position is the worst kind of tripe… the folks at Kotaku.com put it best.

So tomorrow… as my NFL viewing is interrupted (again) by commercials for this rogue software… I will politely excuse myself from the television and ensure I have sufficient volatiles on hand to immolate Cameron Suey if I ever meet him.

u comment i follow 44 Comments

  1. John3Sobieski
    Posted September 28, 2008 at 4:31 pm | Permalink

    I have a suggestion about immolating Cameron Suey. (Please remember that this is a joke). I saw on mythbusters that non-dairy creamer, you know, the stuff you put in your coffee, is pretty much napalm when you light it up. :)

  2. Posted September 28, 2008 at 7:35 pm | Permalink

    Non-dairy creamer: check.

  3. T.J. Mock
    Posted September 29, 2008 at 8:55 pm | Permalink

    GRRRRR…..

    Lucas Arts was making me really happy when i was first reading about this awesome game that they were producing.

    And then they go and do this…..George Lucas would be turning in his grave.

    OH WAIT…..he’s still alive. How come he doesnt do anything about it?

    I think power does something to people’s common sense.

    Even though my computer probably couldn’t run the game i would like to know that i can work up to that. That is the great thing about computers. They can be changed and upgraded.

    This is probably the stupidest thing any game developer could do.

  4. t5orcWarrior
    Posted October 4, 2008 at 1:47 pm | Permalink

    Okay the only reason games don’t come out for PC is because they…suck. I bought Force Unleashed the day it came out and within 8 useless hours it was over. This game is terrible and that is why it will not come out for PC, PERIOD.

  5. TJ Mock
    Posted October 6, 2008 at 5:53 pm | Permalink

    Wow

    Now that makes me feel a whole heck of a lot better.

    It also makes me mad at LucasArts for not producing a good games like they said they would.

  6. Posted October 13, 2008 at 4:26 am | Permalink

    they’ve forgot that PC-gamers founded their success.. it’s a shame

  7. Posted October 14, 2008 at 2:49 pm | Permalink

    Actually, the only “console” I own is the PC, and I take it very seriously. I just recently bought a 17″ Core 2 Duo 2.4GHz laptop with an nVidia GeForce 8600 video card, just so that I can game away from home. This kind of news makes me mad. It’s the same as Halo. I used to be a huge Halo fan, and those always take a couple years to be released onto the PC after it does on Xbox. Ugh.

  8. Posted October 17, 2008 at 8:13 am | Permalink

    Yes, i’ve feel the same things when i learned that there is no PC version! They tell about the new engine, make video shows about it in the web site, and PC gamers can not play with this. Come on… what’s this!

    I love to play games with my super sonic fast PC, i hate console platforms! And this is the stupiest game release stratedy i’ve ever heard!

    I am just laughing at you dear lucas arts game marketing managers (or who ever authorised about that!)

  9. d
    Posted November 2, 2008 at 7:28 pm | Permalink

    Seems crazy to me ! If they can do it for xbox or playstations (which are essentially pc in box arent they?) then surely its not difficult

  10. gladi8or-666
    Posted December 12, 2008 at 8:08 am | Permalink

    that bugged me yes, but isnt like, x-box a Microsoft gaming system? cuz thats just jacked up.(gladi8tor gets irrationaly pissed) wt flyin f? seriously, if ur gonna do sumthin like that, DO IT RIGHT!(gladi8tor calms down) Well, it could be worse, it could be like duke nukem forever (which should be called Duke nukem forNever) and they keep swiching their damned engines. unreal to epic 3.20 to doom 3 will it ever end???? of corse not!(gladi8tor gets pissed again) do u know how long it will take to get it setup, debuged, and all the other miscellaneous crap that they do?(you guessed it) FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

  11. Posted January 2, 2010 at 1:14 am | Permalink

    This kind of news makes me mad. It’s the same as Halo. I used to be a huge Halo fan, and those always take a couple years to be released onto the PC after it does on Xbox. Ugh.

  12. Nathen Drake
    Posted January 12, 2010 at 2:18 pm | Permalink

    The forced unleashed really should be for every console. I can see why you would get mad but I own the game and the only things good about it are the graphics and plot line, so you should feel good about that.

  13. nomorexmas
    Posted January 14, 2010 at 7:52 pm | Permalink

    Hi, I have been a visitor to your site for about a year now. However, I am overwhelmed with the hateful tone that your rants seem to incorporate, not to mention that you have some references that are a bit inappropriate like setting people on fire, calling people “fools” (bible talks about that) and referencing the acronym “WTF”. You say you are a Christ Follower (as am I…3rd gen ordained minister) but your tone might offend some baby christians and you know what the bible says about that, “Better that a millstone be hung around your neck than to….”.

    Anyway, I don’t want to sound like I am lecturing. I just hate to see your message be obscured by your tone…

    If you want to know why I felt the need to speak, it’s because my 11 year old asked me about it. I actually gave him a green light for your site because you made such a big deal about being a christian, I thought it was safe to let him read and peruse your site. No big deal. :-)

    Have a good one and keep the faith!

    Todd

  14. Posted January 16, 2010 at 11:44 am | Permalink

    @Todd

    I will ponder your comments… and my initial reaction is that I do not speak on my blog as if I’m talking to an 11-year-old, but to other adults. If I were to lower the content and tone of my blog to the lowest common denominator, simply because on the internet ANYONE could read my blog, then I’d probably want to set MYSELF on fire. :-)

    And as far as Christians… since ANYONE on the internet reading my blog could be a VERY NEW Christian then I’d have to be tip-toeing around all the time, and I could probably only ever talk about flavored soda or Veggie Tales for fear of causing someone to stumble. :-) Now I exaggerate, but the point is still valid.

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, one of my favorite exclamations for things that are truly insane, is what it is… it’s more appropriate when phonetic’ed or acronym’ed than blurted out au naturel… similar to “oh my goodness” or “darn it” or “lmao” (the latter of which, funnily enough, I don’t use because I think it’s crude). I truly believe in using bad words for bad things and good words for good things, otherwise we confuse everything (clever saying, but not mine). I also call things like I see them. Fools are fools, lest we confuse them with non-fools. This practice has slipped into a lost art among Christians who haven’t read up on their Luther (amidst many others)… to the point where speaking “in love” has been equated with speaking like wimp IMHO. If we decide to speak a bold truth, and nobody is offended, then what we said was probably worthless (*singing* the Bi-ble tells me sooooo…). :-)

  15. nomorexmas
    Posted January 21, 2010 at 7:49 pm | Permalink

    Seriously, I have “read up on my Luther” as you say. Like I mentioned, I had to pay good money and spend a great deal of time seeking the Father during seminary. During that time, I was certainly exposed to much “Lutherness”. However, WTF has no place in a Christian’s vocabulary. Saying that you “call it like you see it” is not original and is best heard on O’Reilly or Limbaugh’s shows. There were times that even Jesus appeared to be a “wimp” (ie. Golgotha). That is inherent with humility and turning the other cheek. Anyone can make a point being brash. But it takes a true Christ Follower to make their point at the RISK of being viewed as a wimp. IMHO

    Having said all of that, I respect your right to your opinion.

    Your Brother In Christ,

    Todd

  16. beanbag2100
    Posted March 2, 2010 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    The forced unleashed really should be for every console. I can see why you would get mad but I own the game and the only things good about it are the graphics and plot line, so you should feel good about that.

  17. Posted March 12, 2010 at 2:27 am | Permalink

    I agree, it should have been released on the platform that made Star Wars video games popular with all the Jedi Knight titles.

  18. Ms. Mercedes Jones
    Posted March 15, 2010 at 12:38 pm | Permalink

    they’ve forgot that PC-gamers founded their success.. it’s a shame

  19. Mr Part Series
    Posted April 18, 2010 at 8:07 pm | Permalink

    The forced unleashed really should be for every console. I can see why you would get mad but I own the game and the only things good about it are the graphics and plot line, so you should feel good about that.

  20. Body Parts
    Posted May 3, 2010 at 7:57 am | Permalink

    Okay the only reason games don’t come out for PC is because they…suck. I bought Force Unleashed the day it came out and within 8 useless hours it was over. This game is terrible and that is why it will not come out for PC, PERIOD.

  21. Joe-Chip
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    Seems crazy to me ! If they can do it for xbox or playstations (which are essentially pc in box arent they?) then surely its not difficult

  22. Posted June 6, 2010 at 8:04 pm | Permalink

    I agree, it should have been released on the platform that made Star Wars video games popular with all the Jedi Knight titles.

  23. Tango Info
    Posted June 24, 2010 at 5:24 am | Permalink

    Excellent article but I still think PC games are the best!

  24. Posted June 28, 2010 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    they’ve forgot that PC-gamers founded their success.. it’s a shame

  25. rockyroad
    Posted August 30, 2010 at 3:00 pm | Permalink

    I never liked this game. Dont know why

  26. German_BMW
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    why so much hate. it wasnt that bad

  27. Pretty_Mercedes
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 11:41 am | Permalink

    I agree with the German post above. In my opinion the game was pretty decent

  28. Dodge_Ram_Parts
    Posted August 5, 2011 at 3:00 pm | Permalink

    Seems crazy to me ! If they can do it for xbox or playstations (which are essentially pc in box arent they?) then surely its not difficult

  29. Philips_Xenon_HID
    Posted August 14, 2011 at 12:46 pm | Permalink

    The forced unleashed really should be for every console. I can see why you would get mad but I own the game and the only things good about it are the graphics and plot line, so you should feel good about that.

  30. HID_Light_Bulbs
    Posted September 2, 2011 at 1:42 pm | Permalink

    they’ve forgot that PC-gamers founded their success.. it’s a shame :( oh well

  31. Posted October 29, 2012 at 12:13 am | Permalink

    I like film by lucas film such ac star war..It a great movie..

  32. Posted November 29, 2012 at 12:18 am | Permalink

    wow No PC??
    I jsut play game in my PC..I don’t have xbox or PS. I just fell comfortable play in my lovely PC..

  33. Posted January 1, 2013 at 1:14 am | Permalink

    his kind of news makes me mad. It’s the same as Halo

  34. Posted January 1, 2013 at 1:15 am | Permalink

    can see why you would get mad but I own the game

  35. Posted January 1, 2013 at 1:16 am | Permalink

    oh…hen surely its not difficult

  36. Posted January 22, 2013 at 8:56 pm | Permalink

    Would you be excited by exchanging links?

  37. Posted February 27, 2013 at 7:16 am | Permalink

    I am no longer positive where you’re getting your information, but good topic. I needs to spend a while studying more or figuring out more. Thanks for excellent info I used to be on the lookout for this info for my mission.

  38. Posted April 7, 2013 at 11:07 am | Permalink

    Thanks it should have been released on the platform that made Star Wars video games popular

  39. Posted April 11, 2013 at 4:03 am | Permalink

    longer positive where you’re getting your information, but good topic. I needs to spend a while studying more or figuring out more.

  40. Posted April 24, 2013 at 7:29 am | Permalink

    Thanks forced unleashed really should be for every console. I can see why you would get mad

  41. Posted May 2, 2013 at 10:11 am | Permalink

    forced unleashed really should be for every console. I can see why you would get mad but I own the game

  42. Posted May 5, 2013 at 1:38 am | Permalink

    I have a suggestion about immolating Cameron Suey. (Please remember that!!..

  43. Posted May 6, 2013 at 2:46 am | Permalink

    It wouldn’t be so bad if this was any ordinary game… but Lucas (the supreme chancellor himself!!..

  44. Posted May 14, 2013 at 7:39 am | Permalink

    It wouldn’t be so bad if this was any ordinary game… but Lucas (the supreme chancellor himself) has knighted this game as the official canonical storyline falling into the 20 years of time between the actual Star Wars movies Episode III and Episode IV. And the biggest insult is that this game was released for about EVERY platform you’d think of… PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Wii, Xbox 360, iPod touch, iPhone, N-Gage, Nintendo DS, and PSP (PlayStation Portable) — everything but the PC, the most powerful and most ubiquitous platform of them all

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